17 Catholic Wedding Traditions and Rituals, Explained (2022)

Here's what you can expect to see at a traditional Catholic vow exchange.

Wedding ceremonies are not only a chance to celebrate a couple's marriage, but they're also a time when many to-be-weds choose to honor their culture, religion or heritage through the inclusion of meaningful wedding traditions. Weddings in the Catholic church are no different—they are generally highly traditional affairs where couples partake in many rituals and sacraments as laid out by the leadership of the Catholic church. If you're in the throes and wedding planning and trying to decide what Catholic elements to include in your wedding, or you've been invited to a traditional Catholic wedding for the first time, consider this your ultimate guide.

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In this story:

  • Catholic Wedding Ceremony Traditions FAQs
  • Catholic Prewedding Traditions Explained
  • Catholic Wedding Traditions Explained

Catholic Wedding Ceremony Traditions FAQs

Especially for guests attending a Catholic wedding ceremony for the first time, the tradition and structure of the event, and not knowing what to expect, can feel daunting. With insights from some of our go-to wedding experts and pros, we're taking a look at Catholic wedding frequently asked questions to prepare you.

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What can guests who aren't members of the Catholic church participate in?

"Non-Catholic guests should still feel welcome to attend a Catholic wedding mass of a close friend or family member," explains wedding expert Jen Avey, VP of Marketing for Destination Weddings Travel Group. "Depending on their comfort level and their own religious beliefs, guests can show their support by simply being present in the chapel, or choosing to partake in the statements of faith and/or hymns (songs). If Holy Communion is being offered, members of the Catholic church may be able to participate, however, non-Christians are welcome to participate by simply offering a sentiment of peace. Be sure to check the ceremony program to see if the couple provided any details as to what to expect, so you can decide to proceed as you feel most comfortable."

How long is a Catholic wedding?

The length of the ceremony depends on whether the to-be-weds decide to partake in a full Catholic Mass or an abbreviated version of the ceremony. A full Mass may take more than an hour because of the various liturgical elements included.

What should you wear to a Catholic wedding?

As with all guest dress code questions, it's best to stick with whatever guidelines the couple puts forth in their invitations or on their wedding website. Generally speaking, however, Catholic weddings are formal affairs and your attire should align with the gravity of the matrimony. It is generally encouraged that guests dress modestly. If you're wearing a dress that leaves much of your upper body exposed, a shawl or wrap could be a good addition to your ensemble.

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Can you personalize Catholic wedding traditions?

"It's important for couples to know that a typical Catholic ceremony generally doesn't allow for a lot of extras, like personalizing the exchange of wedding vows," wedding expert Amanda Donaho of Amanda Donaho Photography. Ultimately, the priest presiding over the wedding will be the one to dictate the extent to which a Catholic wedding ceremony can be tailored to fit a couple.

If having a traditional ceremony, but also adding personalization is important to you, expert Nora Sheils, of Rock Paper Coin and Bridal Bliss suggests couples consider having two wedding ceremonies. "Many couples find getting married in a Catholic church very important to them, but don't want to have their guests in a church for over an hour to witness it, especially if many don't practice the faith. Instead, we've planned Catholic ceremonies a few days (or weeks, or months!) prior to the festivities so they can have their sacred sacrament."

17 Catholic Wedding Traditions and Rituals, Explained (1)

Larissa Cleveland Photography

Catholic Prewedding Traditions Explained

Catholic engagements are generally expected to last a full year. During this time there are some prewedding traditions that typically take place for couples planning a Catholic wedding ceremony.

Catholic marriage rites vary from church to church so to-be-weds should partner with their priest throughout wedding planning as they prepare for their Catholic wedding ceremony. The priest will guide the couple through several preparatory steps ahead of the wedding. Notably, if one of the to-be-weds hasn't partaken in the sacrament of Confirmation within the Catholic Church, they may need to complete that rite ahead of the wedding.

Official wedding announcements, known as Banns of Marriage, may be posted in the church bulletin for the three Sundays prior to a couple's wedding.

(Video) Marriage | Catholic Central

Pre-Cana

Pre-Cana is the marriage preparation course, or prewedding counseling, that couples must partake in if they wish to be married in the Catholic church. The name comes from the Bible story in John 2:1-12 which is known as the wedding feast at Cana in Galilee, where, according to the text, Jesus Christ performed the miracle of turning water into wine.

This wedding preparation course is usually either a weekly class or an intensive weekend program. During this time, couples have the chance to delve into many topics relating to marriage and married life, from spirituality and commitment to other details like financial topics. Ultimately, the goal of Pre-Cana is to equip both to-be-weds to enter into marriage as prepared as possible with realistic expectations of the commitment they're making to each other.

Catholic Wedding Traditions Explained

Catholic weddings are highly liturgical affairs steeped in lots of tradition. As such, there is a fairly standard format for Catholic wedding programs. Wedding professional Stephanie West of Stephanie West Photography explains that at a Catholic wedding ceremony "there are songs, readings, communion, signs of peace, and a homily but then the Sacrament of Marriage takes place. In this, there is the Rite of Marriage which includes wedding vows, consent, and exchanging rings." Each of these elements of the marriage ceremony is included for very intentional reasons.

Aaron Lane of Aaron Lane Pro DJ Entertainment goes on to note that "A Catholic wedding Mass is exactly like a regular Sunday Mass, with the addition of the Rite of Catholic Marriage. The Rite is what recognizes the union in the eyes of the Church, and actually confers on the couple the Graces of the Sacrament of Marriage. Catholics believe these graces, as we read in the Bible, greatly assist the couple by providing spiritual help in their marriage and their commitment to God and each other, and help to live out the vows proclaimed during their wedding ceremony."

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1. Head To The Church

Most Catholic wedding ceremonies take place in a Catholic church. Generally, the couple chooses their home church, but they may opt for a family church or a church that holds a special connection for them. If you want to hold your Catholic wedding ceremony somewhere other than a Catholic church, you'll generally need to write to your bishop for permission.

2. Entrance Rite

If the couple is following Catholic wedding traditions, there are two options for the processional. The first option is for the priest and servers can greet the wedding party, bridesmaids and groomsmen at the door of the church, entering with the priest and servers first, followed by the wedding couple. Alternatively, the priest and servers can enter on their own and take their places in the sanctuary before the wedding couple enters, greeting them when they arrive at their places. Once everyone has arrived and taken their places, the priest leads everyone in the sign of the cross once the processional song has finished.

3. Introductory Rites and Opening Prayer

Catholic or Roman Catholic weddings begin with a greeting and an opening prayer by the priest, naming the couple and asking for God's blessings on their wedding day. "Couples will have to decide if they want to hold a Catholic ceremony with or without Mass, which will include Holy Communion and other elements that could last up to an hour or longer," explains Avey. If proceeding with a Nuptial Mass, the priest will then lead the guests in a hymn.

4. Nuptial Mass or Celebration of Marriage

If both members of the wedding couple are Catholic, they may opt for the full Catholic wedding ceremony Nuptial Mass. The Nuptial Mass includes several readings from the Old Testament and New Testament, as well as hymns and psalms. "Typically, there are 2 readings at the beginning of the ceremony. These are done by friends or family selected by the couple," explains Donaho. After that, the priest offers a homily, which typically includes readings and teachings on marriage and love. If the couple opts to skip the Nuptial Mass, they'll have what's called a Celebration of Marriage, which begins with the Liturgy of the Word.

5. Liturgy Of The Word

The readers (often family members) read Bible passages selected by the couple and preapproved by the priest, followed by a short sermon about marriage given by the priest.

6. Rite Of Marriage

The entire congregation stands as the couple takes their vows, declaring their commitment to each other. Actual vows vary between churches, but the basic wording is: "I (name), take you (name) to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

The priest then blesses the couple, joins their hands together, and asks, "Do you take (name) as your lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

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7. Exchange Of Rings

After the couple responds, "I do," to the vows, the best man generally gives the bride's ring to the priest, who blesses it and hands it to the groom to place on the bride's finger. Then, the maid of honor hands the groom's ring to the priest, who blesses it and hands it to the bride to place on the groom's finger. Each may say, "I take this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

8. Lasso and Arras

Many Hispanic Catholic weddings will also include the lasso ceremony and the arras ritual. Each of these rituals are unity ceremonies to further represent the couple's bond through matrimony.

9. Catholic Wedding Conclusion Without Mass

If the ceremony takes place without a Mass, the ceremony concludes with nuptial blessings and a final prayer from the priest. He then tells the congregation, "Go in peace with Christ," to which they respond, "Thanks be to God."

10. Catholic Wedding Conclusion With Mass

If the ceremony includes Nuptial Mass (which adds about 15 minutes to the service), the Mass proceeds with the following Catholic wedding traditions. The order may vary slightly, depending on the church, but you can expect each element to be present.

11. Offertory

This is when the altar is prepared for communion, also called the Liturgy of the Eucharist. The couple, or other treasured guests, may be chosen to help in the preparations, and then the priest delivers the Eucharistic Prayers over the bread and wine for communion. In some Catholic weddings, the bride places flowers on the shrine of the Blessed Virgin Mary as musicians play "Ave Maria." This rite can be done either before the processional or after the recessional.

12. Lord's Prayer

The guests participate in reciting the Lord's Prayer taken from Matthew 6:9-13.

"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

13. Nuptial Blessing

For this blessing, the wedding couple kneels or stands before the altar, and the priest offers a blessing for the couple.

14. Sign of Peace

The priest invites the wedding party and the guests to share in a sign of peace (typically a handshake) and the words, "Peace be with you," with the people standing nearest them.

15. Holy Communion

The priest breaks the host (bread) while the guests sing, and communion is distributed to the newlyweds, then the guests, often with the help of servers. Guests who are not Catholic may be offered a blessing by the priest instead.

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16. Blessing and Dismissal of the Guests

After communion, the ceremony concludes as it would without a Mass. A final blessing is offered to the married couple and the guests, and everyone is dismissed with "Go in peace with Christ." Guests respond with, "Thanks be to God."

17. Recessional

The wedding couple leads the recessional out of the church, followed by the wedding party, then the servers and, finally, the priest.

After the ceremony has concluded there will be a wedding reception. The Catholic church generally has set times when they will host Mass so there may be a gap of time between the conclusion of the ceremony and when the reception takes place.

FAQs

What happens during a Catholic marriage? ›

A Catholic wedding ceremony

One is with Mass and celebrates the Eucharist, which lasts for about an hour. The other is without Mass and only takes about 20 minutes. The ceremony including Mass is as follows: Entrance rite: there is a procession, which may include a hymn.

Do you kiss the bride in a Catholic wedding? ›

You may have noticed that in the Rite of Marriage, there was no mention of the priest saying, “You may kiss the bride.” The kiss is not part of the Rite of Marriage and is more of a secular tradition. The bride and groom still get their kiss, though.

What are the 7 promises of marriage? ›

7 Vows Of Marriage: 1st Phera Signifies – Nourishment
  • Groom: “Om Esha Ekapadi Bhava Iti Prathaman”
  • Bride: “Dhanam Dhanyam Pade Vadet”
  • Groom: “Om Oorje Jara Dastayaha”
  • Bride: “Kutumburn Rakshayishyammi Sa Aravindharam”
  • Groom: “Om Rayas Santu Joraa Dastayaha”
  • Bride: “Tava Bhakti as Vadedvachacha”
7 Jun 2022

What is the structure of a Catholic wedding? ›

A Catholic wedding ceremony traditionally includes a full mass and communion, all of which can take up to an hour. Some to-be-weds choose to only have a Rite of Marriage ceremony (which doesn't include a mass). It can last between 30-45 minutes.

Who walks down the aisle in a Catholic wedding? ›

In a Catholic wedding processional, the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down the aisle in pairs, with the groomsman on the right and the bridesmaid on the left, starting with the attendants who will stand farthest from the bride and groom. Once the pair reaches the end of the aisle, they part ways.

How long should Catholics date before marriage? ›

There's a reason most Catholic priests won't marry a couple earlier than six months out, because you need time for any facades to fade or secrets to come to light. (And obviously, a lack of trust after a while of dating is a red flag.)

Who walks the mother of the bride down the aisle Catholic? ›

2. Mother of the bride. The mother of the bride is the last person seated before the officiant, groom and best man take their places at the altar. She can walk alone or be escorted by her son, son-in-law or another relative.

What is passionate kissing Catholic? ›

1) The notion of sexual passion in kissing is a knowingly chosen act IF the couple continues with the kissing that they know are arousing their lust. If they did not intend to arouse their lust they would stop kissing when they perceive that this was happening.

What does TO HAVE AND TO HOLD mean? ›

to possess legally; have permanent possession of. The house, with the mortgage finally paid, was at last their own to have and to hold.

What is the best promise for wife? ›

I promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for I know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. I choose you. I'll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without doubt, I'll keep choosing you.

Why does marriage have 7 circles? ›

The 7 Pheras or the Saptapadi is the true essence of a Vedic wedding. Only when the bride and the groom take the 7 vows keeping the holy pyre as the witness, they are called as married. The bride and the groom hold their hands and take seven rounds around the Agni and promise to be with each other for eternity.

Who walks in first at a wedding? ›

1. Officiant. Your officiant is generally the first person to walk toward the altar, signifying the ceremony is about to commence.

Who walks down the aisle and in what order? ›

The Groom: The groom proceeds to walk down the aisle accompanied by their parents, with his father on the left and his mother on the right. The Bridesmaids: The bridesmaids then proceed in pairs, starting with those standing farthest from the bride. The Maid or Matron of Honor: The bride's right-hand woman walks alone.

Which mother walks down the aisle first? ›

A. The groom's parents precede the bride's mother during the processional. Here's a rundown: After the ushers have seated all of the guests, the grandparents start up the aisle, followed by the groom's parents. Then the bride's mother takes her turn.

What is the difference between a Catholic wedding ceremony and Mass? ›

The purpose of a catholic wedding ceremony is to celebrate the marriage of two people and ensure it is valid as per the laws of the church. The purpose of mass is to worship the Lord; congregants attend mass to worship God through songs and prayers.

What are Catholic wedding vows? ›

"I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Do you have to kneel at a Catholic wedding? ›

Sit for the Liturgy of the Eucharist.

You will sit as the bread and wine are prepared at the altar, then as the Eucharist prayer is recited. Next, a hymn called “Sanctus,” will be sung. After this hymn is over, you will kneel before standing for the rest of the Communion.

Who seats the mother of the groom at a wedding? ›

5 minutes prior to ceremony: The groom's mother is escorted to her seat by the head usher, a son, or the groom. The groom's father follows and sits next to her.

Who walks the groom's mother down the aisle? ›

As the wedding begins, the groom's mother will be escorted down the aisle, to the first pew, right-hand side, by the head usher or a groomsman who is a family member. A nice touch includes the groom escorting his mother down the aisle. As the groom's mother is escorted to her seat, her husband will follow along behind.

Which side does father of bride walk? ›

"The father of the bride typically walks down the right side of the aisle, having the bride on his left arm (facing the altar)," Jones explains.

Is it wrong to sleep with your boyfriend before marriage Catholic? ›

It is, in fact, for us, not against or opposed to us. Sex with anyone other than your spouse will always be sinful. This is because the Catholic Church is very clear that the only context in which sex isn't sinful, is when it takes place within a marriage.

How far is too far before marriage Catholic? ›

Can Catholics Date Before Marriage? Sex and dating are two different things. Just because the Bible forbids sex before marriage doesn't mean you cannot date. As long as you abstain, date away as much as you want.

Is fornication a mortal sin in the Catholic Church? ›

In AD 385, Pacian of Barcelona, in his Sermon Exhorting to Penance, gives contempt of God, murder, and fornication as examples of "mortal" or "capital sins."

Who pays for the bride's dress? ›

The bride's side of the family traditionally pays for the bride's wedding dress and the bridesmaids' dresses. Increasingly, however, bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses.

What should the mother of the groom not do? ›

Here are a few things a mother-of-the-groom shouldn't do.
  • Don't overshadow the bride's mother. ...
  • Don't act (or dress) like a bridesmaid. ...
  • Don't get too critical. ...
  • Don't steal the bride's spotlight with your mother-of-the-groom outfit. ...
  • Don't try to invite extra guests. ...
  • Don't skip the pre-wedding events.
2 Jul 2019

Which grandmother is seated first at a wedding? ›

Determine the Order of Things. If both your grandmother and grandfather are in attendance, have them walk down the aisle together. The groom's grandparents should be seated first (his paternal grandparents followed by his maternal grandparents), then the bride's grandparents should be seated in the same order.

What does French kiss mean? ›

: an open-mouth kiss usually involving tongue-to-tongue contact.

Is it a sin to French kiss before marriage? ›

No. The Bible doesn't explicitly forbid kissing between two unmarried people. A Christian couple that is dating with the consideration of marriage or is engaged doesn't necessarily sin because they share a kiss in a manner that retains their purity.

How do you stay chaste before marriage? ›

Chastity before marriage isn't old-fashioned, as modern media likes to portray it.
...
10 tips for staying chaste
  1. Make a commitment to each other. ...
  2. Set boundaries. ...
  3. Avoid alone time. ...
  4. Get support from friends and family. ...
  5. Be open with someone. ...
  6. Avoid talking in depth about intimacy. ...
  7. Stay out of the bedroom. ...
  8. Dress modestly.
30 Jun 2014

What does a Catholic priest say at a wedding? ›

"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

Are there any marriage vows in the Bible? ›

While the Bible includes verses on love, marriage, and weddings, there aren't any specific marriage vows mentioned. You can, however, use the Bible's inspirational verses in your marriage vows, include them as ceremony readings, or use a short verse as a theme on your invitations and programs.

What is a good quote for wedding? ›

Heartfelt Wedding Quotes
  • “For you see, each day I love you more. ...
  • “I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. ...
  • “Love recognizes no barriers. ...
  • “Walking with your hands in mine and mine in yours, that's exactly where I want to be always.”
29 Dec 2020

What are the 3 promises of marriage? ›

The couple could promise each other to "love and cherish" or, alternatively, the groom promises to "love, cherish, and worship", and the bride to "love, cherish, and obey".

What is the strongest promise you can make? ›

Top 10 promises you should make to your partner
  1. Eternal Ties. I promise to never stop trying to win you over, no matter how many months or years or lifetimes we spend together. ...
  2. Open to criticism. ...
  3. Never get bored. ...
  4. Clear boundaries. ...
  5. Past is Past. ...
  6. Effort with loved ones. ...
  7. Compromise without regrets. ...
  8. Always falling for you.
11 Feb 2021

What should a husband promise his wife? ›

Here are 10 promises to make to your wife, and why they make the best wedding vows for him on your big day — and beyond.
  • "I promise to stick by you through tough times." ...
  • "I promise to always make us a priority." ...
  • "I promise will never let you forget how much I love you." ...
  • "I promise I will not lose my identity."
7 Jul 2020

Why do the bride and groom walk around a fire 7 times? ›

Therefore, it is no wonder that Hindu couples walk around the fire during the wedding ceremony. The reason for circumambulating 7 times is related to the seven vows taken by the couple during their wedding.

Why do the bride and groom go around the fire 7 times? ›

During the Saath Phere, the bride and the groom, circumambulate (walk around) the sacred fire seven times as they exchange their marital vows. The fire here becomes the witness (Agni Sakshi) as they make promises to each other.

Why is fire used in marriage? ›

A key aspect of the Hindu ceremony is to light a scared fire, usually created from ghee and wooden wicks, to evoke the God, Agni (Fire), to bear witness to the ceremony.

What role does mother of the bride play? ›

The mother of the bride plays the role of hostess, meaning you should spend some time greeting guests during the reception. Although there are exceptions, other wedding-day duties may include sitting at the parents' table and dancing with the father of the bride to help warm up the dance floor.

Who stands next to the bride? ›

The maid of honor usually stands closest to the bride and holds the bride's bouquet. If one of your besties is a matron of honor, you can ask her to stand in the second spot.

Do the best man and maid of honor walk together? ›

The groom and best man stand at the altar after entering from a side door or entrance. Each group of bridesmaids and groomsmen walk in pairs of two unless you have an odd number; then someone can walk alone. The maid of honor walks alone since the best man is already at the altar.

Does groom walk mother Down aisle? ›

For a Non-Denominational or Secular Wedding

The groom might opt to escort his mother down the aisle and to her seat in the front row, followed closely behind by the groom's father. This gives the groom an opportunity to give his parents a hug before taking his place at the altar.

Who enters the church first at a wedding? ›

The Processional

If the groom chooses to lead the processional, he will be followed by the best man, groomsmen and bridesmaids (typically in pairs), maid of honor, ring bearer and flower girl, and the bride with one or both parents.

Who hold the rings during wedding ceremony? ›

In a traditional ceremony, the ring keeper is the Best Man, and he holds the rings until called upon for the Ring Exchange in the wedding ceremony. But it doesn't have to be the Best Man; anything goes here. I've had couples choose one ring to go to the Best Man and the other to the Maid of Honour.

Can mother of the bride wear the same color as bridesmaids? ›

No, the mother of the bride doesn't need to match the bridesmaids or the wedding party in general. The bride may prefer to have corresponding colors for a cohesive look, but it ultimately comes down to personal preference.

What is a good song for parents to walk down the aisle? ›

Special Wedding Entrance Songs for Parents:

Sister Sledge – We Are Family. U2 – Beautiful Day. Rob Base – It Takes Two. Katrina & The Waves – Walking On Sunshine.

Who walks down the aisle in a Catholic wedding? ›

First, the groom and the best man enter from the side of the church. Then the bridesmaids and groomsmen escort one another up the aisle, followed by the maid of honor, who enters alone. And last, but certainly not least, the bride and her father (or another male family member) make their grand entrance.

What are the 5 aspects of Catholic marriage? ›

A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to children; and (4) their consent is given in the canonical form, i.e., in ...

What is the role of a Catholic husband? ›

He initiates family prayers, he proactively plays with his children, he finds ways to ease his wife's pressures and burdens, and he promotes domestic tranquility by ensuring that his own emotions foster a low-conflict marriage.

What does it mean to get married in a Catholic church? ›

Getting married in the Catholic Church helps us to fulfill our Baptismal Promises. These are those promises that our parents and godparents did for us before God in our Baptism and that later in our life were renewed by us when we celebrated the sacrament of Confirmation.

Do you say I do in a Catholic wedding? ›

"I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

What are the four F's of marriage? ›

And so the first three of the four Fs of a good, lasting relationship are: freedom, forgiveness, and forgetfulness. Some say the last F is the most interesting of all.

What are the four pillars of marriage? ›

Safety, Faithfulness, Commitment and Reliability are 4 pillars of trust every marriage needs. If any one of these is missing, the roof starts caving in and the relationship starts to deteriorate. Marriages thrive when both partners feel safe and secure.

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